that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
