I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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