i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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