I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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