so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This baby is an asshole
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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