so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Green mimosas i think yes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
