Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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