we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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