the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
