the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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