Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
