He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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