Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
