you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
