where am i from again
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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