You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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