So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
