you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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