May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
