I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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