I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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