i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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