Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
did you just send me my own nude
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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