My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
