She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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