check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the condom got lost in my hair
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize