at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
