love makes seman taste better
found the other keg... it's in the tree
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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