Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
