She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
