Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
