There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
