I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
tell me about the eggs
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