im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize