tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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