don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
