nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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