im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
