I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
