the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
