How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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