Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
