So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
