I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
