Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
