I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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