sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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