Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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