Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
