Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
