That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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