His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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