You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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