Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
