I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
