I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
